We'll hide here for the rest of the class because l'm not playing that game. They were focused on getting that kid with the limp. Take a Iook, take a Iook, take a Iook At the kids on the street No, they never miss a b*at Never miss a b*at We're never going to be able to outrun these guys! Okay, let's start off with a little game l like to call Gladiator. What do you mean, kids like us? l just don't want to get a sunburn, right, Rowley? He's just trying to make kids like us feel bad. So we're gonna divide you up into two teams. l live and breathe Physical Education.Īre you ready to have some fun out there? is as much a part of my life as waking up in the morning and going to the bathroom.
l'm Coach Malone and l am your gym teacher. Sent home for hygiene issues at Ieast once a month.Ĭome on, put the knitting down ! Let's go!Īll right, everybody. l might even have a sh*t at the top spot by the end of the year, if things go the way l think they will.įregley. Rowley, if you had to say where you were ranked in terms of popularity from one to 200, where would you put yourself? ls 200 good or bad? l'd say you're somewhere around the 1 54 mark. Welcome to your first day of middle school. My family just got back from Guatemala! lt's my serape!Īll right, class, l'm Mrs. Remember how I said Rowley wasn't middle school ready? One bad move and you're stuck next to some idiot for the rest of the year. Lf you're as discriminating as I am, it can be tough to figure out where to sit on your first day of middIe schooI. Thank God there are a few normal people or this place wouId be a totaI freak show. SeriousIy, I don't know what happened to these kids over the summer. He's an exceIIent buffer between me and these morons. I'm smaIIer than about 95% of the kids at my school. There's juvenile delinquents and weirdos. You got kids like me who haven't hit their growth spurt yet mixed in with gorillas who have to shave twice a day. Let me just say for the record that I think middle school may be the dumbest idea ever invented. Kiss him you're sorry and then let's get a move on.Ĭan't be late for your first day of school. The potty monster doesn't like it when you look at him. Okay, well, it's your fault he's still potty training. You'll be dead or homeschooled by the end of the year, anyway.įrank? Greg? l think it's gross and undignified that l have to eat breakfast next to him on the potty. Don't go to the bathroom.ĭon't get noticed. Mom asked me to give you some advice about middle school.
Diary of a wimpy kid 2010 movie#
l always figured they'd make a movie about my life.īut l didn't think they'd start the story here.īecause, seriously, who wants to see a movie about a kid who's stuck in middle school with a bunch of morons?Ĭome on. l want a puppy, a kitty, a gumball machine.īut anyway, this is about me, not Rowley. He's not quite clear on the concept of growing up. lt's my best friend, Rowley Jefferson, l'm worried about. Mom got me this thing so l could write down my feelings about starting middle school.īut l'm gonna be fine. The only reason l agreed to write in this thing is because when l'm rich and famous l'll have better things to do than answer people's stupid questions all day long. This just proves Mom doesn't understand anything about kids my age.
Okay, first of all, let me get something straight.īut when my mom went out to buy this thing, l specifically told her not to buy one that said "diary" on it. Wow! Look at the size of that flamethrower! What is that smell? l can't even identify it. Greg, what are you doing up making all this noise? lt was Rodrick! He woke me up! She sent me to get you while she waits in the car!Īre you insane? School doesn't start till next week.Īnd, FYl, school doesn't start at 4:00 in the morning ! You're about to be late for your first day of middle school. Mom and Dad have been calling you for an hour.
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